How Could I Forget

We also have a new addition to the family. 

Shes female.

Beautiful

Ridgeback cross Bullmastif 

and her name is 

SAI

This is Sai, You may think what a strange name . Your right . The debate for her name lasted around about an hour. Me, Josh, Bonnie and Braidyn all sat around debating what to call her. 

Braidyn liked the name JAPANESE . I obviously disagreed.

Me and Bonnie liked the name Ellie. 

Then the man of the house said shes called Sai, like bonsai ( his favorite plant)

We couldn't disagree. 

The story behind her goes like this. I was in the pet store buying a female rat for Miss Roses'birthday. In the pet store window was this little lady. 

Now I am a complete sucker for puppies especially at pet stores as I can not stand them all locked up. I saw her and immediately texted the main man, he said no. So I sent him  very long text about how I really wanted her, im paying for her, and I to be honest he has no say in the matter my money, my choices, my love. 

She is such a beautiful dog. Her favorite thing to do is lie on you and snuggle her head into you neck  Which i know in due time she will be far to big to do, so like any new mum I am lapping up the attention.

 


We can not forget the other man of the house who loves Sai, Jumbo. He is our little man with a big dogs attitude. He is gorgeous. so soft and gentle. My little teddy bear 

M.I.A

Wow have I been missing in action. I guess that what happens when you body decides to have a hissy fit and hate.
So as you all know I've been having troubles with my body but guess what , despite three weeks ago being diagnosed with pleurisy ...... I HAD SURGERY ! Yay ! 

No seriously this is the best thing ever to have happen to me . However the down side is i have to wait another six weeks for the results, god knows why ! 

What else has happened. My OH turned 30. The boy turned 6, the girl turned 9. A lot of birthday parties where held here . I even made multi-coloured jelly cups which went down a treat :) 

Today I started "TOH 20 day Challenge" of tidying up my house. However we are in the midst of renovating. 
The laundry is finally getting done today, as my OH and I finally bought a new washing machine. Living without one fore the past two weeks has been hell. The laundry mat around the corner gained a lot of money from us. 
We bought a combined dryer washer, and I've heard good and bad reviews , to counteract the bad reviews I got an extra 5 year warranty on it. That way anything does go wrong well HA HA I have warranty ! 

Hmmm what else is new .... my parents are having another child should be here in 5 weeks. So excited for them. Also my sister in law in pregnant with a little girl she is due in December. So many babies being born is like a huge baby boom. Could it be down to fifty shades of grey as every cult person is saying.... don't be so god damn ridiculous ! 

On the last part of my ramblings I will be posting daily due to the fact I now have a desktop computer, the worst part about it is the fact I keep doing so many spelling errors as the keyboard is in american not English :( 

Priority number one: change keyboard setting :) 
Well i shall plan a new blog everyday filled with awesome things. 
New me here I come 

Jade 

Take a knife....

Soon before the 16th of June I will be going for keyhole surgery. They will be sticking a camera in my belly button and looking at my uterus. They now have come to the conclusion I have had ovarian cysts but now I might have endometriosis. Oh and to top it off extreme depression! Like seriously can anything else go wrong. So over it all fed up of the chronic pain and also fed up of snapping continuously at my family, why oh why me ! So with my cocktail of drugs that I have been taking the best was Valium, now I say this with a lot sarcasm as I am one those lucky few that it has no affect on. Literally meant to be sedative pill to make you sleep through the pain, I took it at 7pm I was still bug eyed at 11pm oh and guess what my sleep was interrupted ! I will be posting a few blogs on what endometriosis is so other people can get an understanding of this. As I am only 21 I really shouldn't be going throug all this pain and torture. I should be living the happy life in my new home with my boyfriend and his kids. Instead I stuck missing work crying and being hurt 24/7 :( Not a happy blog but don't worry there will hopefully be some more happy blogs to come when they find out what the hell is going on with me, but until happy blogging guys .

 Jade

Depression : An Overreaction?

When I was younger I suffered from depression. They said it was due to the fact I was going through puberty. Then when I was 19 i was diagnosed again with depression, they put me on medication and told me to see a psychiatrist. Seeing someone and opening up about myself was hard. When i knew that every word i spoke they would be analysing. Every word would have another meaning so i found myself not truly being able to open up. The meds, well they numbed me. They didn't get to the source of why my anxiety levels were sky rocket, they didn't de-stress me. They did however stop the tears every night. However i was not able to laugh see humor feel emotions. So i took myself off them. I was fine for a little while. Around about this time my father was diagnosed with Bipolar. Some people think its a sham but living with him and seeing his emotions go from one extreme to the next. See the meds effect his personality got to me. Now I am with a guy who has type one diabetes ( yes the bad one ), and well his emotions are on par with my dads.


Now im 21. Now i feel exactly how i felt when I was 15, and again when i was 19. I am crying at everything. I argue with everyone and hate everything. I feel like a sulky teenager complaining that it rains, that i have to wake up. But really its not that, im contemplating having my tubes tied because I do not want to go through anymore pain. I cant take the pain. No one can comprehend the pain I am in.

Everything around me doesn't make me happy, nothing is going right. I just blew up again at my boyf. I screamed at him telling him he was the worst mistake ive ever made. That he is a waste of space and buying a house with him and deciding to build a life with him was ridiculous ! Hes right now in living room whilst i sit here on the bed. Hes tried to come in and make conversation, but to be honest i cant look at him. I dont even want to talk to him. I want to scream at him !

I know its not fair and its not his fault, but hes who i take my outlet on. Its so hard. Especially when now i cant take certain medication due to my hormones and acid in my body. All I keep doing is saying breathe. Breathe, something so simple as that.

Last night, he told the kids to come in and see me and play a few games. It cheered me up but after about two games i found i was feeling as if someone was suffacting me. I couldnt breathe and i had to leave them. Its a hard thing to explain when your not going through it yourself. But i can say its not an overreaction. Its an unhappiness with how things are. My problem is i keep the little things in until its a massive thing .

He said last night that i have to see my problems as a bridge and just let the water flow through. My retaliation was that there are that many bridges at this current moment that the dam is about to break! He laughed, and even that little thing annoyed me.

If anyone has any tips, anything at all please tell me. I will post them up ..

Have good night guys.

Matter of Grey

A few of my favorite quotes that make me smile so much from one of my all time favorite shows "Greys anatomy"

Dr. Meredith Grey: A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Denny: No, no. We're taking turns. I've decided. It's polite and it keeps me from yelling. When it's your turn again, you can talk. For five years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open decided my life. There wasn't one choice that was mine. Now, I have this heart that beats, that works. I get to be like everybody else, I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, do whatever the damn hell I choose. Now here's the good part, so you listen close. What I choose... is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you, Izzie Stevens. Okay, it's your turn again.

Talking 'bout MY GUYYYYYYY....

I have a man who surely is a mystery . so i thought to my huge follwing of TWO people. i shall introduce my man:

this is me and him in Bali

Quick summary

We met just over a year ago in october 2010. We rushed straight into a relationship. I got a lot of hassle from friends because of the age gap, but if you met him you would understand the age gap is the opposite way around with regards to being mentally older.

He makes me smile so much. He also annoys the hell out of me. He can have me that annoyed that i am crying. I hate crying. But he still makes me smile and he makes it worth it. He kept me sane through very rough times. Stayed by my hospital bed when i was adamant i was dying ( was just an ovarian cyst). He seriously is the best of me and yet knows how to bring out the worst in me. 

I find a relationship is best when you argue. We disagree on so much but neither one of us in the relationship is in charge. Nobody wears the pants. We both have  our opinions and we both allow each to state it. Thats why we argue. I think the sky is blue he sees greens, greys, pinks and blues. 

How we met

One night I was lying on my bed at my parents house, all ready too go out, when a friend i was ment to go out with cancelled. I was very upset. When another friend texted me, she wanted to go to some guys birthday party. She informed that the said birthday was her sort of "set up date" by her close friend Josham. So she didn't want to go along and wanted me as back up. At said time I was 19 she was 27. So me being the nice friend I agreed. I mean hey I was ready to go out and I wasn't going to let my 45 mins of curling hair go to waste. 

So she came and got me and drove me to a party which was out in the bush 45 minutes away from house. Im sat in the car asking my friend what the hell she thought she was doing hiking me out this far inland. 

Anyway we got to the house and she introduced me to her friend Josham, and his friend "lil" Nick ( because he is small) and said birthday boy Damo. I preceded with niceties " hey how you going" " yes i am english" blah blah blah. For the majority of the night we sat with Josham and Nick. When Josham asked Nick to get me a drink. Well i'm a beer drinker. My real mum owns a pub in england. I was brought up with older men and beer. So imagine my surprise when Nick came back with a UDL ( fruity girl vodka drink). I looked at the poor bloke in shock asking him what the hell was this and was there no beer. Which apparently got the attention of Josham and conversation started. We talked about his tattoos which were of his kids names, what he did for work. The usual drunken talk came about when he said... now this has to be put into real conversation form : 

Him "I have a trick for ya"

Me "Really what is it ?"

Him " I bet you 50cents, I can make your boobs move without touching them"

so my brain is going i am not letting this stranger touch my boobs. I turn to look at my friend and shes encouraging me to see the trick. She says nothing bad will happen to me. So the naive me says:

Me "Go on then"

Which resulted in his hands grabbing my boobs and shaking them, and giving me 50cents. 

Him " I loose"

So this guy has just touched my boobs, everyone is laughing as apparently my face was a mixture of not knowing whether to slap him or crack up laughing. So I just sat in shock. After that me n Josham was on a whole 'nother level of conversation. I then informed my friend we had to go home ( it was around 12, and i had work at 9). So her being her invited Josh to the car and told him she would drop him home. 

So i sat front seat as far away from this guy as possible. We got to my place when the even more weirder happend. He told me i should go back to his place, and watch tv. Now this is a 27 year old asking to watch tv at 12am at night. Now i may have fell for the first trick, but i am not easy. I refused to much dismay of the people in the car, and walked straight into my house feeling very good about myself. 

About 15 minutes from entering my house i receive a text from my friend 

" Josham wants your number should i give it too him"

I know, i know very high school. Either way i just said yes, and fell asleep texting him. The next day after work we planned to meet up. Me and my friend and Josham and Damo. Weeks followed, of him driving me around in his truck, more movie nights and drinks. Were eventually Josham made it official. 

His humor is still the same. He is still the same man. One thing i know is he keeps me happy and i love him . 

Thats my mini blog about him :) 

Back to uni I go..

Let's start off with the fact I am typing this on my iPhone ! Secondly I am 2 hours early for my lecture :( thirdly this is getting typed up in blogger app.

Okay so it's my first day back at uni. I am kind of nervous as I need to fully get a gpa of a 7 to boost my current lame gpa of a 3 :(

So I thought I'd write somethings I've learnt today before the lecture has even started :

1. Wearing a bag with metal straps leads to huge disgusting red/white welts in shoulder, due to bag beig to heavy.
2. Use a different bag.
3. When getting a coffee do not point out that using a rucksack is worse due to bouncing in bum. Will result in seedy coffee guy looking at said bum and calling it a "nice booty"
4. Don't arrive early for uni ever again as you will sit in lecture hall bored and alone, contemplating If you chose the right seat out the 500 frees ones to pick out of.
5. Don't wear shorts too uni as you spend your entire walk trying to hoist them down so you do not look like a skank with the four butcheek syndrome.

Anyway my prof is here now best seem clever and talk my way to an A :)

Hey Guys ,
Sorry I have not posted in a while I have been in and out of hospital . Gotta love having ovaries that do not like to produce eggs but rather produce cysts !!

Anyways im on heaps of medication ( for the rest of my life) so I should be on the mend. On the talk of medication i would like to point out i feel like a little old lady who needs her weekly pill packet to tell her what pills to take for the day. Who'd have thought, at 21 i'd basically be told it could be hard for me to bear children.

"Awesome whilst your at it why dont you rip off my boobs as clearly you have just taken what makes a woman a woman away from me!!"

On a much lighter note, I got a whole week off work. Which has allowed me to do alot of thinking. I go back to university on monday. I am very nervous. Its going to be a hectic schedule, it will look something like this :

5am- wake up
5:30am- Get J up with his coffee and make sure lunch is out
6am- Get the kids up with breakfast , send J to work.
6:30am- make sure kids are cleaned and dressed ready for school. Then finally I can get ready
7am- Make sure I am dressed uni bag is packed (or if am going to work lunches packed for me)
7:30am- make sure everything in the house is how it should be, the kids have everything they need I have everything I need.
8am - LEAVE
9-5pm: work or uni
6pm- come home, hoping the kids have done there homework and dinner is at least on.
7pm- dinner time
8pm- kids bed time
9pm- my bedtime

As you can see it gets less detailed as in between involves preparing lunches making dinners cleaning . But that will be the basic daily life of me. By basic I mean that is the minimum that I will be doing .

I also so forgot with all my negativity happening in this post lets have something absolutely awesome :
I PASSED MY CITIZEN TEST ! ! !
So on the 22nd March I will get a little certificate that will say:
"G'day mate, you are no longer a tea drinking geeza, but a true blue aussie."
:) Today I will be decluttering the clothes. Oh and a little bit of shopping :)
May even do a few posts of random pictures ..
Have a good day now
x

Food for thought

Tonight i think i may cook for my man Chicken Cordon Bleu. The recipe i will use :

4 servings

Ingredients
* 4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 6 slices Swiss cheese
* 4 slices cooked ham
* 1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Coat a 7x11 inch baking dish with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Pound chicken breasts to 1/4 inch thickness.
3. Sprinkle each piece of chicken on both sides with salt and pepper. Place 1 cheese slice and 1 ham slice on top of each breast. Roll up each breast, and secure with a toothpick. Place in baking dish, and sprinkle chicken evenly with bread crumbs.
4. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink. Remove from oven, and place 1/2 cheese slice on top of each breast. Return to oven for 3 to 5 minutes, or until cheese has melted. Remove toothpicks, and serve immediately.

My man loves this meal and to be frank so do I. Served with Brocoli, carrots, peas & corn. Oh and my world famous Roast tatetas (Potatoes) . yummm

6 days later

Wow what a busy week I have been having. I am basically in the midst of buying a house. Hopefully today i can get the papers signed today ( happy happy me ). Also on Thursday I take my citizenship test, then I go to my close friend who is over from England. See i wasn't lying I have had a busy week and it keeps getting busier .

To top it all off I may have to go back the doctors as I think my ovaries are playing up. At the beginning of the year I was emitted into hospital as I had an ovarian cyst pop. Now just over a month later i think i have had another one :( Oh and i have Man Flu. So I am sooking it up big time.

My partners little girl Rosie made me this to cheer my day up

That plus ginger tea to settle my stomach and I was all melting with happiness.

Who would have thought a little card would give me such big smiles.

Hopefully I will post again tonight with "best health tips".

Have a good hump day

JJx

Follow me through the rabbit hole .

Some days i do think i live a bit like Alice in wonderland . Except i'm a red head , and if I saw a talking rabbit i'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't go following it down a hole . However there are days were I feel like i am falling down a massive hole only to end up in a room with a key on a table i am too small to reach .

This blog will be an attempt to show you have i strive to succeed in the roles i have been given in life. I will write down recipes, cleaning tips , health tips, even a few random blogs with awesome photographs here and there. The blogs shown on the side are blogs that i find have inspired me to finally start the journey with you.

Hope you enjoy reading my blog

Week Two : Values

This weeks challenges ask us what do we stand for. Deb has left some questions to answer. But at the end I think I will also state what my top five core values are . Hope you enjoy :)

What do you like to do?
I like to be creative. I love the feeling of being inspired and creating something new. Even when it goes horribly wrong (like my microwave cake in a mug) I can still find happiness. I also enjoy watching movies being snuggle up in bed on cold winter days with hot chocolate, or my man keeping me warm.

Who and what inspires you?
My Parents- They have gone through so much in my lifetime. I adore them. I look at what life they have and the struggles they have gone through to get it to the perfection that it is now. I look forward to being were they are at their age. I have young parents, who like any parent has always wanted the best for me. Even if that meant making sure I did my homework every night even if I didn't have any. Excepting the fact that they tried there hardest to give me the stepping stones, shows me I can achieve what ever I put my mind to.
Bonnie Rose- The things that come out of this fantastic 8 year olds mouth is outstanding. She says things that just have me in hysterics. She inspires me to have a fresh positive outlook on life. To smile and just be happy. She is always with a smile on her pretty little face, except when her evil little brother fights with her. But even then 5 minutes later she could be giggling away. She is a big fan of farting ( not lady like at all) However she just seems to have that outlook of " what you expected me to keep it in ?? " or " THAT WASNT ME" .
My Boyfriend- He drives me to the bring of throwing myself off a bridge sometimes. However he is the only person who can keep me going. Its like hes my mental motivator who keeps saying "things will be better" or "Hold in there its all going to be ok". He really does my make waking up everyday worth it.

What do you feel strongly about in life? – What things would you defend fully in an argument with other people?
Equality and fairness are two words that I a always defending. When people to speak to me as if I am lesser than them. Or treat me different due to the role in life they have. It frustrates me so much. We are all human why should we treat anyone any different.

So my top five core values would have to be:
Family Happiness Equality Honesty Compassion



Untill Next week :) x

Week 1 : Focus on the positive

So I stumbled upon this challenge and I think I may give it a go. Lets see the outcome. If you would like to change your life why dont you click the button and give it ago :)



What went right for you last year?
So last year was a very stressful year for me, I could make an endless list of what did go wrong however this is about being positive so lets see. I turned 21 and enjoyed a beautiful holiday in Bali with my man. He organised a 3 man band to serenade me on the night and had the mini tiramisu that id been loving whilst we were there come out with a candle. The band sung to me " you are beautiful- james blunt" I cried.
At the beginning of the year my parents lost twin babies. It was a crushing time however it gave me the chance to realise life is not certain and I started to make choices based on living life by the moment. Trying always to be happy and keep a smile on my face.
Last year made me grateful for the people I have around me. I have one of the worlds greatest boyfriends, who puts up with my mood swings ( I blame the hormones ). He keeps me smiling and always knows what to say. We argue and somehow he makes me smile. Which some cases infuriate me, but most time its what I love most about him. I wouldn't have gotten through last year without him sticking by my side.